Universal rules for internet message boards.   
10:00p 6-23-08
  I know I just updated a few hours ago, but that was the fake-y update and this is the real one. Updating twice in one day is un-friggin'-precidented for someone who has been known to go MONTHS without word one, so just consider it a gift.

Most internet forums you go to feel they have to post a set of rules, which really means they try to teach you common sense. Inevitably some dingus gets himself reprimanded or banned despite not breaking an actual rule, and when the ban is reversed (because his friends and allies start bitching about it) he comes back and throws it in everyone's face. As though the Forum Overlords could possibly predict every single flavor of ass-hattery the scum of the internet could possibly foist upon them.

So I'm taking it upon myself to write a set of Universal Forum Rules. These are rules that are in place, whether explicitly written out or not, at every forum you've ever been to on the entire internet. Seriously. I have problems envisioning a place on the internet where these rules are not in place, and if I could, it would probably fall outside the realm of what we'd consider a community of any sort that actual humans would want to take part in.

1) You do not have Freedom of Speech. Even if the forum says you do, you don't. Chances are, if you're using the term "Freedom of Speech" to defend something you said on an internet forum, you don't understand what it means in the first place. Just because a forum administrator probably won't ban you for posting something he finds offensive, doesn't mean he can't, and if he does he is actually fully within his rights to do so. This is different from someone infringing upon your Constitutionally-given right to Free Speech. (Bonus: if you're not a citizen of a first world country, you might not even have Free Speech anyway!)

2) The forum rules are just guidelines. Yes, even if they have their own page. Even if they have been enforced unilaterally and fairly during the entire time you've been there. There is absolutely nothing at all stopping a forum admin from enforcing this rule but not that one, or exacting punishment on one person but not another. Deliberately pushing the forum rules to see how far you can go before you break them is risky at best because there's no check in place to ensure the admin doesn't remove you before you break them.

3) You are responsible for your own actions. If you do or post something illegal, it is not the forum admin's responsibility (usually). The admin is bound to the laws of wherever he his plus whatever laws where his forum is hosted, and you are bound to the laws of wherever it is you reside. This is especially important in forums dedicated to illegal or grey-legal activities. It's your prerogative if you want to involve yourself in illegal activities, but in the (admittedly unlikely) event the authorities come calling, hiding behind the admin is not a good defense.

4) Mods and admins are bigger than you. No matter how well you are established in a community, unless you are the sole forum administrator there is someone around with more power than you. Pissing them off -- in any capacity -- is to your disadvantage. They have entire pages full of options they can use against you: they can delete your posts, they can move them to subforums you don't want them in, they can edit them to say things you didn't actually say, they can replace your forum avatar or signature image with giant pictures of genitalia. And, of course, the forum admin can just flat out remove you from the forum entirely. Harbor no illusions that you can somehow "beat" the mod team. You can't, for the same reason you can't win the Indy 500 on a bicycle.

5) If you have to circumvent any of these rules, you are wrong. If you have hacked the admin's password and taken over the forum, or if you start threatening legal action where there is no basis for it, or really anything else to get around one of the Universal Rules to "participate" in a community, you have already lost: by definition you are no longer participating! Someone who goes to a concert to burn down the hall is not there to hear the music.

I think that's it. I tried to keep this a real list of Universal Rules, rather than just Guidelines For How Brickroad Likes His Forums, so I left out things like "don't spam" and "don't use signatures that break the forum layout". Some forums get off on that sort of thing.

Anyway, next time you have to ban some asstard from your forum and he or his friends start whining about how he didn't technically break any rules, point them here. And then ban the whole lot of them because god dammit, whining is ANNOYING.		  
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By the way...   
5:22p 6-23-08
  People keep asking me, so I'll just answer: that previous post has nothing at all to do with Kinetic Cipher. I'm cannibalizing some of the KC settings and ideas for some new thing.

No, that new thing isn't an RPGMaker game.

Sorry if that breaks your heart or whatever, but there it is.		  
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World Building 1: Guilds of Tekiel   
3:00p 6-13-08
  Though it is technically a monarchy, the materialistic nation of Tekiel has long been governed practically by its many trading factions.

Cartographer's Guild
A group of mapmakers, intellectuals and scribes. Members are often involved in military exploits because of their knowledge of cultures and geography.

Children of Tekiel
A guild of philanthropists dedicated to the general populace of Tekiel. Some genuinely work to lift up the downtrodden and protect the poor from the rich, while others are rich themselves and seek to increase their social standing through charitable acts.

Coin and Cloth
Guild of merchants and traders, by far the wealthiest and most powerful of the guilds. The highest members are known to be morally and ethically corrupt, but such is their position that no one can touch them.

Courtesan's Guild
Named in an effort to put forth a presentable face to society, this guild regulates brothels at every level of quality throughout Tekiel. Constantly fights to maintain a moral image, given the guild's nature. Said to be absolutely brutal to illegally-run or non-affiliated establishments.

Craftsman's Guild
Originally a guild of laborers and tradesmen, now governed mostly by rich shopkeeps, merchants and businessmen. Actual craftsmen make up only a small part of the guild, which no longer exists to benefit them as it did in the past.

Fenorast's Guild
An elite gentleman's club of sorts, made up of members of many of Tekiel's oldest aristocratic families. Weilds power based on social status, but is involved with organizing sports competitions, gambling, and whatever else strikes their fancy.

Hands in Toil
The "real" craftsman's guild, founded by a group of renowned craftsmen and artists disenchanted with the corrupt Craftsman's Guild. Their name reflects their devotion to their skills rather than wealth or politics.

Knights of the Crown
The Crown's personal militia, and the only guild directly related to the royals. Acts as a de-facto policing entity throughout the nation, upholding law and collecting taxes. Most squads operate independantly and are led by a soldier of middle-to-high military rank who directly represents the Crown in word and deed.

Lorekeepers
Devoted to the study of "magicks, monsters and extra-worldly affairs," its members walk the thin line between men of science and occultists. Many are specialists in world religions and demihuman civilizations, making them especially good Gen-Ri or Phracian diplomats.

Seafarer's Guild
Regulates sea trade, oversees Tekiel's ports and authorizes building of ships. Second only to the Coin and Cloth in wealth. Ships and captains not registered with the guild are considered pirates irregardless of their actual involvement in piracy.

Sellsword's Guild
Loosely established mercenaries. They hire themselves out for dangerous or legally questionable tasks at home and abroad. Ocassionally an Antine lord of small standing will field an army of Tekiel sellswords.

Whispering Wyrm
An underground organization of thieves and anarchists. Openly opposed to the Crown and most powerful guilds, the Coin and Cloth especially. A criminal entity.


The Close Council
A pseudo-official group of guild representatives that advise the king. Originally Tekiel was a monarchy and the Close Council merely acted as the voices of the country's various trade factions, but now in truth the Council weilds vast power and the Crown is more of a figurehead. The Council numbers break down like so:

Cartographer's Guild - 1 seat
Children of Tekiel - 1 seat
Coin and Cloth - 4 seats
Courtesan's Guild - 1 seat
Craftsman's Guild - 2 seats
Knights of the Crown - 1 seat + king's advisor
Lorekeepers - 1 seat
Seafarer's Guild - 2 seats

The Hands in Toil, Sellsword's Guild and Fenorast's Guild have no voice in the Council, but usually have someone present to audit at least the most important meetings.

The king's personal advisor has always been a member of the Close Council as unaffiliated with any guild, but traditionally this person holds at least a ceremonial rank amongst the Knights of the Crown. On occassion they have even been the same person.

The Whispering Wyrm, of course, has no non-criminal function and therefore no seats on the Council, but nonetheless have spies to report back about Council goings-on. The very nature of this guild is focused more on taking advantage of the Council's movements, not influencing those movements themselves.		  
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Ten reasons why Mega Man 3 is better than Mega Man 2.   
12:15p 5-29-08
  10) In MM3 it's like "YOU GOT SPARK SHOCK. HERE IS YOUR PASSWORD. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE." In MM2 it's like "-...A...- ...G...E...T... ...E...Q...U...I...P...P...E...D... ...W...I...T...H... ...A...I...R... ...S...H...O...O...T...E...R..." And if it happens to be a level where you get one of the Items, you could literally play MM3 from start to finish and then grill a steak in the time it takes for MM2 to tell you to get your weapons ready. Speaking of Items...

9) ...Rush is better. But really, what isn't better with a cartoon dog's face on it?

8) Sliding is hot shit.

7) Cooler bosses overall. Okay, Top Man is pretty lame, but honestly MM3 could just have Snake Man, Shadow Man, Spark Man and Gemini Man twice each and still have the best boss collection in the series. And if for some reason you have a hard-on for the MM2 bosses? They're all in here too, except not pussies this time.

6) It's both easier and harder. Pound for pound it's the more difficult game, but it gives you a lot of tools to make it easier if you can't hack it like A6 Red, Rush Jet, and the controller two cheats. The ability to adjust your difficulty in real time is so much better than MM2's cop-out Normal/Difficult setting.

5) No bullshit levels or bosses. MM3 is more difficult overall, but it's the right kind of difficult. No crapass "instant death unless your reflexes are perfect" areas like Quick Man's level, no "you'd better hope you play this boss perfectly because you won't have enough weapon energy to retry him" fights like the Wily Wall Cannons. When you die it's because you suck, not because the level was designed to kill you, and you never have to kill yourself over and over again because it's the only way to restock your Crash Bombs.

4) On the stage select screen, instead of a static Dr. Wily box, Mega Man's face is in the center and his eyes follow your cursor around.

3) I played MM3 before MM2 and blind fanboy nostalgia is strong. (I didn't say they were all good reasons.)

2) Better weapons list. Every weapon is situational, but no weapon is useless (not even Top Spin). They're all pretty good and they all give you just the right amount of bang for your buck (yes, even Top Spin). Don't give me "Metal Blade" because I'm still convinced it is the result of some programmer typing "3/1" instead of "1/3" when it came time to input its shots-per-energy-unit ratio. A weapon that is so good you'll never not use it, and that never runs out, is not a good weapon; it is a broken weapon. MM3 gives you a good varied arsenal full of stuff that will never supplant your standard gun as your default weapon, and it does it without resorting to giving you a shield.

1) Protoman's whistle. Enough said.		  
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$1300/wk PT   
6:58p 4-23-08
  The advertisement read "If you're not making $1300 a week part time, call now!" And then a phone number.

What I want to know is, if this guy is making $1300 a week, why was the advertisement in the back window of a beat up Pontiac Trans-Am?		  
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I think these speak for themselves.   
2:16a 4-7-08
 

 
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I spelled "enough" wrong on purpose. For justice.   
12:32p 2-5-08
  Hey guys, I made you some awesomeness:

  
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A+++ would buy again!   
11:18a 2-4-08
  Yesterday I was shopping for board games on Amazon. I went looking for one called Crack the Case that has been out of print for a few years, and found a few going for about thirty bucks. I went ahead and placed my order from a guy who lives in Florida because shipping is much faster that way.

I didn't anticpiate how much faster it would be.

Literally like an hour or two after I place the order (I don't even think I had gotten my Amazon confirmation e-mail yet) there's a knock on my door. I put some pants on (hey it was like 11am on Sunday) and answered it, and there's a dude out there holding Crack the Case.

"Uh, hi *looks at printout* Richard. I'm viking1965... from Amazon. I, uh, saw you lived right here in Pinellas Park so I, uh, just thought I'd drive this over."

That's right, homeboy got my order to my door, same day delivery. I popped the box open, checked it out, and signed his delivery slip, and he was gone.

The whole thing was so fast, Amazon hadn't even processed the order yet. I still can't go on and leave the guy feedback as of this morning, but I'm totally going to check out what else he's selling. All of you should go on there and buy something from him just so he knows how kickass he is.		  
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Swag.   
6:56p 12-26-07
 

1. drunken Santa
2. Scene It? (2nd edition)
3. Marvel Encyclopedia
4. annual family calendar
5. CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES
6. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
7. Spider-Man 3 ornament
8. Final Fantasy IV figurines
9. Eternal Sonata
10. Mass Effect
11. Dexter (Season One)
12. The Boondocks (Season One)
13. Hickory Farms (yum!)
14. fedora (also note: Gus the hideous zombie head)
15: The Game of Life
16: Jenga
17. travel lantern (???)
18. matching pen and pencil w/inscribed name
19. Slinky and Son of Slinky
20. Rubik's Cube
21. yo-yo
22. LEGO monkey		  
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Bad words.   
2:53p 12-3-07
  I had a great Miranda story to put here, but all I could remember was the ending, and if I only post that the story isn't as funny. So I'll have to ask her to refresh my memory as to the beginning, then maybe post it tomorrow.

In the meantime, I asked everyone on AIM what their mother would do if they were to call her a cunt. Here were the responses:

- Disown me?
- She'd probably disown me.
- proooobably look at me wide-eyed and slap the shit out of me
then my dad would tear into me like a rottwieler tears into a steak
- dunno
probably punch me in the nuts
- Say "Nice mouth."
and "What a way to treat your mother."
- Well she would get her husband to stab me.
- She'd either gasp and call my dad or laugh and then call her friends and brag.
- Laugh.		  
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Mystery solved!   
11:46a 11-13-07
  Sitting down to check my e-mail last night, I noticed my keyboard was responding improperly. Every keystroke was resulting in a string of pseudo-random characters.

My first thought was, oh crap, I have some kind of weird virus that scrambles all my text. Or my motherboard was about to explode and I'd have to replace it.

Before I could throw a hissy fit, though, I decided to unplug the keyboard (an ancient Compaq USB dealie) and try it on Miranda's laptop. Sure enough -- scrambled text. So the problem was the keyboard itself and not something more sinister.

Figuring it wasn't a big deal, I planned to run up to Wal-Mart and drop $30 on a new keyboard. I'd been meaning to replace the crappy thing forever, and this was as good an excuse as any. Not wanting to freak Miranda out in case she woke up and found me gone, I told her where I was off to.

She blinked a few times sleepily as the information sank in, then very sheepishly admitted to having dumped a bowl full of milk (left over from my cereal that morning) into the keyboard while trying to set some stuff on my desk.

The mystery of the malfunctioning keyboard... solved!		  
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Well, okay.   
1:30p 11-4-07
  Him: God I want to play oblivion so bad
Me: Why don't you just, uh, buy it?
Him: because my computer is ass.
Me: Um. You own a 360. =P
Him: Yeah, but the PC version has mods =3
Me: So you're having more fun not playing the version with mods than you would be if you were playing the version without?
Him: It's a personal rule. Either I get the version with the editor or I'll go without.
Me: Oh well. Have fun not playing Oblivion. I'm going to go back to playing Oblivion. =)
Him: =(		  
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The call to standardize gamepad button layouts.   
11:32a 10-15-07
  Almost all of my gaming these days is done on the Xbox 360 (Halo 3, Puzzle Quest, Blue Dragon and Bomberman Live) or the Nintendo DS (Picross DS, Etrian Odyssey, and Phantom Hourglass). This causes a small bit of confusion whenever I'm learning a new game for what may very well be a stupid reason. That is, on the Nintendo DS the face buttons are arranged like this:

 X
Y A
 B


While on the Xbox 360 controller, the four face buttons are arranged like this:

 Y
X B
 A


Four face buttons, arranged in the now-essential diamond shape, and even using the same letters, but the letters aren't in the same places. Note that the 360 has a disadvantage here since the DS's pattern is the one I've been conditioned into since 1991; the Super Nintendo uses the same pattern.

What ends up happening is, in the heat of a game, my brain might form the sentence "You need to press the X button now," only to have my thumb reach in the wrong direction (up, instead of left where it needs to go).

This is aggravating. The gaming industry should come up with standard button names and placement, since they're all using basically the same controller anyway. There's no possible way in the universe the designers of the Xbox controllers didn't know that another game controller had already used that exact same layout and those exact letters. I think these guys just label their controllers different for the sake of being different.

Take, for example, the PlayStation controller. It's been the same since the original PS1, and it is the only input device in history labeled with shapes. Shapes? Jesus. Outside of the arcane machinery in contrived adventure games like Myst or Rhem, who the hell labels their buttons with shapes? Why was it okay to label two of their buttons "Start" and "Select" (Nintendo mainstays since the 1980s), and the shoulder buttons "R/L", but it wasn't okay to label the face buttons "ABXY"?

Microsoft is particularly bad because it gives every widget on its controller cute little names like "bumpers" and "thumbsticks". Okay, trigger I can buy, since the buttons FEEL a bit like triggers. But bumpers? They're not bumpers, Xbox people. They are buttons. It would be fine to call them "R/L Buttons" and "R/L Triggers". Also, it's a control stick. It used to be a joystick, back before controllers were called controllers, but then the N64 went and put a joystick on their controller, and called it a control stick. You calling it a thumbstick doesn't make it not a control stick. (Hey Nintendo - same goes for your C-stick.)

They do a good job with the colors, though, and that's how I end up identifying buttons in my Xbox games.

So here's my proposal for a standard game controller:

- Analog shoulder buttons can be called triggers. Otherwise they're just buttons. These can be labeled "L1/L2/R1/R2", with the "2" versions being analog, and referred to as "Left/Right Trigger" respectively. We absolutely don't need any of this "ZR/ZL" crap on the Wii classic controller.

- The d-pad goes below the left control stick. BELOW IT. Come on, Sony, get with the program here. (Wii classic gets a free pass since most of the games you play with it use the d-pad.)

- Start and Select. Microsoft, your "Back" button isn't fooling anyone.

- Face buttons. These get labeled with letters with X on top, B on bottom, Y on the left and A on the right. Label them with colors too: X = yellow, B = green, Y = blue, A = red.

So yeah, gaming industry. Let's get on that. I'm sick of having to memorize different layouts for different games. IT HAS CAUSED ME TO DIE IN HALO. Yeah.

The Wiimote is an abomination unto god as far as this goes, I suppose. But really, for that you don't need labels at all. You basically just have "THE BUTTON" and "THE TRIGGER", and then two little buttons, already labeled 1 and 2. When you throw in the nunchuck you have "THE STICK" as well. Works for me.		  
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An open letter to the lady driving next to me yesterday on the bridge...   
10:34a 10-2-07
  Dear Lady,

Thank you for driving along next to me yesterday, matching my speed and laying on your horn, frantically pointing at my car in an attempt to notify me that I had a flat tire. I really have no idea what I'd have done without your helpful guidance.

Lord knows the sudden listing of my vehicle thanks to loss of tire pressure and the loud shredding sound drowning out my car stereo both went unnoticed. Truth is, I decided to throw on my flashers and slow down to 30 mph in a zone where 40 is the minimum by law because I thought it would be a great practical joke. I think everyone out there yesterday got a big kick out of it.

I especially want to thank you for doing everything in your power to stay right in my way, refusing to speed up or slow down so I could get through your lane and safely to the shoulder. Driving that extra hundred yards or so really taught me the magic of believing in myself. You are the wind beneath my wings.

Did the person on the other end of your cell phone conversation have any role in your decision-making? If so please thank him or her on my behalf.

Love,
Ricky		  
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How awesome is my life?   
4:08p 8-22-07
  According to some internet poll, a 7.2:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
 7.2
Mind:
 7
Body:
 7.8
Spirit:
 4.5
Friends/Family:
 4.4
Love:
 7.7
Finance:
 7.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz


Ugh. I hope that looks better in the post than it does in the giant horrible block of code.

Anyway, looks like I'm doing okay, except in the Friends/Family and Spirit departments. Hmm...

Some of the questions on that quiz are pointless, because they don't get into the nature of the person taking the quiz. As an example, they asked what my relationship was like with my grandparents. I chose "somewhat distant" because they live in Ohio. I'm sure that counted against me. Another question asked if I count on the support from my immediate family. I picked "no" because I would never ASK for support. I bet that counted against me too, but not for the reasons the test wanted it to.

Here's the fortune cookie recommendation given to improve my Friends/Family score:

"Strengthen your social network by reaffirming old bonds. Seek out new friendships, and they will provide you the reward you need."

Unless my new friends are pirates with buried treasure I wouldn't know how to go about doing this. The quiz at one point asked me how many true friends I had, and I marked "three to five". I wonder if people who mark more "true friends" than that really know what they're talking about.

The Spirit category is pointless on its face (I'm an atheist and said so on the test), but just for fun, here's the advice they gave me:

"Improve your score by refining your beliefs and searching for answers to philosophical questions. Consider new belief systems if your current beliefs are not rewarding you."

In other words, "If you aren't happy with the truth, believe lies!"

So, I took the test a second time, using all the exact same answers, except substituting "Scientology" with "Atheism" in their religion box:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
 7.1
Mind:
 7
Body:
 7.8
Spirit:
 4.6
Friends/Family:
 4.4
Love:
 7.7
Finance:
 7.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz


So wait... believing Tom Cruise is Jesus or whatever would give me a .1 point increase in Spirit, but a .1 decrease in my quality of life overall... with no change in any other statistics? Hot dog, sign me up.		  
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By the way, it's spelled 'through' you idiots.   
3:19p 8-8-07
  I went to McDonanld's today for lunch, and like every McDonald's every day for every lunch the drive-through line was incredibly long. So I parked and went inside. To get to the door of the restaurant I had to walk in front of some angry red-haired lady in a black SUV.

Four minutes later when I walked out with my food, I crossed in front of the same angry red-haired lady, who had advanced three positions in the queue, with my bag of food.

THINK, PEOPLE. Who walks into a restaurant at lunch time when a drive-through is available? Only two distinct groups: people who have walked to the restaurant (that is, nobody) and people who know that walking in takes less than a quarter of the time as inching through the drive-through.

Are people really that deathly afraid of a little exercise? Sheesh.		  
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A lesson learned.   
6:31p 7-29-07
  I don't think I've ever blogged about Vorsh before. I don't think I've ever really had a reason to, until now.

I have blogged about Grant from time to time. Some of those entries are juvenile and completely off-base. Looking back on them now they're a little embarrassing but, hell, anyone who has maintained an online journal this long without having any posts they're embarrassed by must be doing something wrong.

Grant was, at one point, my best friend. This is going to be important later. But I'm going to start with Vorsh.

Seven years ago, Vorsh and I had, well, let's say a falling out. I did something to him (got him banned from an IRC channel, or de-opped, or called him a name, I don't quite remember) and he decided that I was his public enemy #1, and that he would make my life hell any chance he could from that point on. Eventually he caused me to break off contact with a group of people I was rather fond of to escape his constant slings and arrows.

He probably wasn't wrong to do so. Seven years ago I was a complete and utter prick. I mean come on, I was 17 years old. I didn't give a shit about people who, in my eyes, were just names on a screen. Internet drama was hilarious to me. I never though someone could take anything that happened on IRC so personally. But they can, and they did. Lesson learned.

Over the years what minor contact I had with Vorsh (which would usually mean he wanted to drive by and take a shot at me for his own amusement) was not pleasant. I apologized to him, very sincerely, many times. I knew what I had done was wrong and that I was a jerk. I had changed as a person (it had, after all, been YEARS). I let him know that the ball was in his court. If he actually wanted to salvage a relationship with me that was great, if not, well, that was his choice.

At one point he even came into #rm2k, which he knew was the only place I really hung out at online and the only community I had ties to, to sabotage my relationships there. He touched base with several people and seemed to be having a good time with them, so I did my best to stay out of his way. One night though he blew up at me and everyone else. I think (though I am not certain) he assumed that my relationships in #rm2k were flimsy and easily shattered. He must not have realized that I had, in fact, matured quite a bit since last time he had spoken to me as a person. He was not expecting that I had real relationships with people there. They rose to my defense. They chased him off. "Brickroad is good people," they said. "He's a jerk, sure, but he's our jerk and we love him."

I never tried to defend myself against Vorsh. I told him, go ahead, tell everyone here what it was I did that was so horrible. They're smart guys, they can decide for themselves whether or not to run me out of Dodge. But they didn't. And I think that stunned him. That's the last I ever saw of him, personally.

Over the years I tried to tell myself that Vorsh was just some guy, and that he never really had an impact on my life one way or the other. But that's not true.

The whole Grant/Jason thing that went down really hurt me in a lot of ways. For a long time I felt like I was being forced to pick sides, and it would have been so easy for me to do so. But I valued both friendships and tried to stay in the middle, salvaging both. Over time, though, I saw less and less of Grant, and that was that. He didn't want to reconcile with Jason, didn't even want to hear his name.

Everyone I spoke to, looking for a second opinion, told me essentially the same thing. Grant's being a dick. You don't need people in your life like that. Just cut it off and give up. My mother told me this. Various friends online and off told me this. I began to think they were all very much right.

But every time I would come back to Vorsh, and look at how easily he discarded relationships over the pettiest of things. I didn't want to be like that. So I stood my bround, stubborn as hell, and worked my ass off to keep the friendships I had. It was hard sometimes. It was painstaking sometimes. It caused a few sleepless nights, and it's caused more than a few awkward conversations.

Now, when I chill with Grant, he talks a lot about the "golden age of gaming" and how much he misses those gatherings. And when I invited him into our current group, Jason included, he didn't shoot me down. I take that as a very good sign, though I still have cautious reservations.

But the point is I wouldn't even be in this position, where it looks like Grant and Jason might finally be able to coexist and we might finally revisit the golden age of gaming. If I had listened to EVERYONE, and shed Grant like a change of socks, I wouldn't even have the opportunity. It would have just been over, full stop.

So, Vorsh, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. We were never friends and, in fact, you don't even think of me as a human being worthy of friendship. But, because of my experiences with you, I still today have a relationship (though it is a admittedly still a little rocky) with one of the best friends I have ever had, if not the very best. Because of you I learned never to discard relationships, no matter how flimsy or how small the chances of salvation, no matter what third parties might think.

I am sincerely sorry for ever having hurt you. I was an immature punk kid at 17. I have since learned to value the people I associate with, both online and off, and I don't think I'd have learned that lesson without your assistance. I hope you were able to take something away from the experience, as well. I wish you well.		  
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Tomorrow is America Day!   
2:06p 7-3-07
   
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How to break Suikoden 5.   
10:39a 7-2-07
  1) Don't let your party take any damage, ever. You can accomplish this by stacking a Firefly Rune (draws all attacks to that target) with a Wall Rune (doubles physical defense, but all the user can do is Defend) on a heavy armor wearer. All attacks will hit that person for a pittance of damage, so the rest of your guys are safe. Train your tank's Defense skills up as high as they'll go.

2) Just to be even safer, stick that person on the edge of your battle formation, and put the next-strongest defender guy right next to them. Some attacks cause "splash damage" to nearby characters in the formation and you wouldn't want THAT.

3) Then, just for overkill, assign Marina (healing every combat round) and Murad (lots of healing after every combat) to your entourage. That way any incidental damage your tank happens to tank is instantly cured.

4) Assign the most powerful physical attackers to your party. Richard, Georg, Cathari, Shoon, pretty much any of the knights... you know the types. Then use the True Men battle stances (+20 physical attack), which comes with an awesome formation skill that lets your entire party do x1 damage to every enemy every single round. This is the equivalent of letting your whole team get off an attack on every individual member of the opposition, every single round. This results in FAR more damage than even the most high-end magic attacks. It puts the Star Rune to shame.

5) Since you don't need attack magic, give everyone stuff like Killer Runes (increases chance of instant kills and critical hits), Crazed Runes (doubles attack power and makes you berserk), Power Runes (increases attack power), and have a few Flowing/Water/Shield Runes on hand just for good measure (some enemies have rune attacks that hit a whole row, which will strike everyone in your party).

6) Oh, and equip everyone with Prosperity Rings, have someone with all the Prosperity gear equipped, slap a Prosperity Rune on someone and assign Egbert to your entourage. Then you'll get like 50,000 potch after every battle and won't have any trouble forging everyone's weapons to the max and keeping them in the best gear and runes available.

Man, I remember fighting Culgan and Seed (the evil general guys) in Suikoden 2, and it was a pretty vicious fight. I knew pretty much all through Suikoden 5 that I'd have to take on Alenia and Zahhak (the evil general guys), and was dreading it. But, with the above patented strategy, they went down in one turn having dealt a combined damage of 6 to my tank.

The story likes to jerk you around a lot by forcing people into your team you don't want, but I think I'm going to finish up the game with the Prince, Lyon, Miakis, Richard, Cathari and Georg. You can't not love Georg.		  
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The Aardvark Guild   
2:41p 5-30-07
  So I'm playing this DS game, Etrian Odyssey, and it's pretty awesome. Oldschool corridor-style dungeon hack RPG. Good stuff. Of course, being what it is, there's no real plot to the game. You have to create your own characters and backstories. So I did! I give you The Aardvark Guild.

(Note: they chose the name Aardvark so they'd be the very first listing for Explorer Guilds in the Etrian yellow pages.)

Founding Members
These five members wrote the Aardvark Guild Charter.

Nicolai - Male Protector (currently L38)
The leader of the guild. Actually Dr. Stan's long lost brother, separated at birth, although neither one knows this fact. I'm planning for a tearful revelation on B25F. Nicolai's job is to wear heavy armor and take hits. He takes his job very seriously.

Dr. Stan - Male Medic (currently L40)
The brains of the operation. His full name is "Dr. Leonid Archibald Stanwick IV, M.D.", but that wouldn't fit on the Explorer Guild's application, so he just shortened it to Dr. Stan. He heals everyone. Until the guild recruited Sally, he had to be on-call round the clock, making him the most experienced member.

Frieja - Female Survivalist (currently L20)
The mysterious archer who never speaks. At about L35 Frieja retired and was replaced by a less experienced Survivalist of the same name. Mysteriously, this new Frieja had extra skill points. Very mysterious indeed!

Zoe - Female Troubador (currently L36)
An accomplished songwriter and belly-dancer, Zoe decided to make herself famous by signing up Aardvark and writing great songs about their accomplishments. Anytime she's enlisted, she just follows her comrades around singing and playing her lute.

Oblivia - Female Landsknecht (currently L34)
Growing up with a chip on her shoulder because nobody ever pronounced the name of her class correctly, Oblivia (named after "oblivion", which is where she sends her enemies) has a huge axe and a permanent scowl on her face. Mutilating monsters gives her great pleasure.

Gathering Squad
Eventually Aardvark realized that they needed to gather materials from the labyrinth to fund their efforts, so they enlisted the help of a family of woodsmen. Originally they were led by the original Frieja, but were strong enough to be on their own by the time she retired.

Zap - Male Survivalist (currently L17)
An accomplished woodsman and tracker. He wanted to take the position of Aardvark's main Survivalist when the original Frieja left, but had his hopes dashed when the current Frieja showed up.

Sasha - Female Survivalist (currently L17)
Zap's wife, who pretends she can speak to animals. This tends to weird everyone else out.

Zap Jr. - Male Survivalist (currently L17)
Zap and Sasha's preteen son. Like all preteens, he hates his parents, and is constantly trying to outdo them so as to be promoted into the main team.

New Recruits
The founding members knew there were skills and specialties they did not possess, so quickly recruited some other members to fill the holes in their expertise.

Guierrmo - Male Dark Hunter (retired at L35)
A none-to-bright lad who couldn't figure out how to spend his skill points efficiently, so his abilities tended to be all over the map. In addition, it wasn't until he was almost L30 that the main guys learned his name was spelled incorrectly. They asked him to change it, but "Guillermo" wouldn't fit in the space provided on the application. By the time they decided to form their B-Team, the leaders just decided to cut their losses, fire Guierrmo and hire a new Dark Hunter to take his place. His current whereabouts are unknown.

Li-Mae - Female Alchemist (currently L34)
A somewhat sadistic teenage girl who is highly skilled in using Poison and Fire formulae. Li-Mae was hired on at the same time as Guierrmo. When Guierrmo and Frieja retired and the B-Team was formed, Li-Mae took a de-facto role as a founding member in the place the original Frieja once was. She is by far one of the most respected members of Aardvark.

Sanchez - Male Dark Hunter (currently L20)
When the original Frieja retired and Guierrmo was fired, Aardvark decided to develop a B-Team: a low-level group who could explore the dungeon with Aardvark's considerable wealth and experience to diversify their skillset and eventually supplement the main team's attributes. Having just fired a sub-par and misspelled Dark Hunter, they snapped up this fiesty young recruit whose skill points were much better allocated.

Lacey - Female Ronin (currently L21)
Having made it into the third stratum of the labyrinth, Aardvark was granted the privelage of recruiting advanced warriors called Ronin. Lacey was chosen to be the leader of the B-Team. Quiet and reserved, the main team looks forward to the day she is skilled enough to join them in the third stratum.

Sally - Female Medic (currently L22)
One of Dr. Stan's students from his pre-explorer days, Sally was brought on-board to be the healer for the B-Team and, eventually, to give Dr. Stan a much-deserved rest. Once she's strong enough (a day that's fast approaching) she will be able to switch off with Dr. Stan and, eventually, fill in for him when he retires.

Petyr - Male Alchemist (currently L20)
Rounding out the B-Team is Petyr, and Alchemist hired after Li-Mae staunchly refused to put any skill points into Ice or Volt talents. Currently only skilled in Ice, eventually Petyr will round out his repertoire with electrical attacks, giving Aardvark access to all four types of elemental formulae.

The Aardvark Guild is currently exploring B12F in the third stratum, and making steady progress.		  
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